The Great War Has Begun

      Trying to use war to bring about an era of peace is as a thought as old as time itself. My character is struggling as she tries desperately to overcome the tremendous army that stands beyond her walls. Led by the Djinn that killed her lover she is flooded with fear, grief, desire, anger, and confusion. She is lucky that she has so many others supporting her.

     I'm currently experience a war in my every day life. I'm not a soldier, but I believe each day we all have our own battles that we are facing. In my dream last night there was no symbolism, I stopped in the middle of my dream to say, "I am feeling overwhelmed and I need a minute. All of this is happening so fast." It is of course in reference to my engagement, moving out, and my life in general. After being at a stand still for so long, it feels hard to take that step into adulthood especially because my parents do not want to acknowledge that any of the changes in my life exist.

     These are my battles and the Princess is who I desire to be. A woman who is strong and capable. She does not need a man and is limitless. She will raise the dead to consume the living is that is what it takes to protect her men and save her kingdom. I wish I had that strength. Oh, remember to type in your email to the right to subscribe if you like what you're reading!

Mursili received the message quickly after he had assembled the troops to recall. It was much quicker to travel through the city streets on horseback.

“The princess has given us our orders.” He turned to his men. The twenty to thirty ranks stood awaiting their orders. “A few of you must remain behind.” He pointed to five groups. “Do not lose formation. You have fought under me long enough to know how I would like you to conduct yourselves. The princess orders that a few of us remain behind to deal with stragglers. Conceal yourself within the clay walls of the city. There you will remain until it seems the others have passed.” He pointed at two or three other groups of men. “You will lead those who enter through this gate into the middle of the city.” He then looked all his men. “The rest of you will follow me. You have your orders now break.”

His men moved quickly. It was not surprising. These were the best men the city of Hebat had to offer. He sighed and vaguely wondered how the baby was doing in all this excitement. Sooner or later she would no longer be able to lead the men into war. He prayed that would be sooner. Not that they would lose today, that was not an option, but he hoped she’d come to her senses and rest during her pregnancy. She had already almost lost the baby once.

He had always felt a fatherly and loving nature towards her. She had asked him to train her in the ways of survival and fighting tactics. She had wanted to be a warrior, yet he couldn’t help but want to shield her from the world. He would have never thought he would end up feeling this way seven years ago when she approached him for the first time.

He was entrusted to watch over this precious daughter of his highness. He knew however the tragic fate of Hadad’s mother. He had always included protecting her and her mother from the King himself. Her mother would be so proud of her daughter.

Her mother must be with the other women down below in the Serail. He prayed the sickly Tawananna was being cared for properly. He listened to the footsteps of his men as they marched along the dusty streets of their desert village. The lotus blossoms were in full bloom and small patches of grass lay here and there. It was in this place that his journey… his emotional journey began and it was here that it must end.

“What?” Hantili was taken aback at the brazen plan. It was an all or nothing scheme. He smiled to himself as he turned to his men. He would expect nothing less from the great warrior princess. She was delivered by the hand of god after all to give these men victory over their enemies.

“Our Princess has issued our orders.” He proudly looked at the men around him and began to break them into the groups they would need to fulfill her orders. He could not believe the tragedy and luck fate had bestowed upon him in the past few days. Everything had happened so fast. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

A cold wind blew across his dark hair. He looked up to see the darkening sky. It loomed overhead almost as a sign. Rain was a rare but welcome addition to the dry desert city. He had heard Hadad speak long about the irrigation tunnels that were built to store and bring the water from the rain to the people of Hebat.

There was nothing about this city or her that he didn’t love. He only wished Hadad would be here to see their victory. The day would come though when they would meet once more.

“All or nothing men! We will hold our ground till our legs go out from under us. Fight to the death Hebat will not fall today!” He issued a war cry as he went to join his Queen.

Life

Life could be cruel back in the day. Not to say it's any easier now, we just face different difficulties and stressors. My character is feeling the pressure as marriage looms ahead.

“What is your mother like?” Baffled she stared at him for a moment.

“What a strange question. She is an excellent Tawannana by all accounts. She is honest and loyal to the King. They are very much in love. She is beautiful and warm as the summer sun. There are those who have tried to have her murdered many times. I'm sure you are aware of the rumors surrounding her lineage.”

“Yes, your mother rising to be Tawannana was a very strange ordeal.”

“I know. That is how I came to be promised to you. I will pay for my mother’s love.”

“In Hebat the daughter succeeds the mother as Tawannana unless she is exchanged to a foreign land. In return the daughter of the Tawannana in the foreign city becomes the successor to ensure peace.”

“Yes." Astarte thought for a long moment. "I suppose asking for Mursili to teach me about war was my final way of trying to not be treated like live stock.”

“What?”

“Woman are traded every day for money or political gain. We are like animals that are traded to create a bond between men. Woman are raped, sold, and forcibly married. I have no choice but to marry you to restore the order that my father disturbed by making my mother a second Tawannana.”

“Until then though, you have your freedom.”

“Do I? I am expected to remain loyal in the promise. Even in freedom I am still confined. If I fall in love with another…. What then?”

“I see. Then let us look to the future together for now. You and I. I wish to live in a world where you love me. I will work hard to win your heart.”

“I want that.”

The ancient land of Pangea could be a cruel place to be a woman born into privilege. Unlike any fairy tale she finds herself leading an army into a battle well fighting not to be forced into a loveless marriage. She wishes to change the world, but her feelings waver along the way. It's scary to leave the security of the palace. To walk out and not know if you will be alive to return. Please leave comments! 

New Day!

I apologize for not being around for a while. I've been taking some time to work on other side projects as finally editing the book I wrote a year ago. Submitting a list to listverse to see if I could finally get paid for writing something. And working on a new manga comic strip. I am going to place out there a small excerpt of what I'm working on. I would love constructive criticism, but please make it constructive.

Let's get the comments going!

In front of him sat a pool of his own creation. He could sit and bathe until he felt settled enough to return. This was his private spot. Often you could find natural water here, but during the drought season it had dried up. It was a man dug hole that he and Hadad had dug when they were younger. During the hot rainy season it would fill with water and they could swim. Hantili had learned the water spell so they could bathe together even when the rains had not fallen. He quickly removed his furs and sank into the cool water.

"Good morning." A voice called to him from nearby. How had he not noticed someone else was here. It wasn't like him to be unaware of his surroundings. His hand reached instinctively toward his sword which remained near him at all times. "No need to be alarmed." Now he could hear the sound of hoof beats trotting forward. Coming out from beyond the trees was a creature with the body of horse with the chest and head of a man. Han had spent many hours in this forest yet he had never come across an animal quite like this before.

"Good morning." His hand had gripped his swords handle. "I would stand to shake your hand, but I'm afraid you may view more than you were hoping for. I hope you'll forgive me for not rising."

"Yes, that's quite alright. I appreciate the thought. I am sorry for startling you, however, you came and sat down in the pool I usually drink out of."

"I apologize, I did not realize anyone else used this pool."

"It's of little consequence." The man's features were sharp, but his voice was calming. It seemed to Han that the man's skin, fur, and hair were all the same color of light tan. His black eyes were eerie to look into and gave Han a chill. His body looked strong though he appeared to have no weapons. There was little Han feared, but something told him to remain on guard. The creature gracefully placed his legs behind himself and sat by the edge of the pool. "In truth I followed the party that arrived last night. I was curious about the girl who rode on the black winged horse."

"Forgive me, many women arrived last night, but I do not remember seeing one astride a winged horse." Han knew he was speaking of the Princess. He had not lied though. When the gates had opened she had no longer been on her horse. What had she done to get this creatures attention? "Perhaps you could be more specific."

"The one with the long, black hair and violet eyes. Her skin looks soft and glows as the sun." The creature smiled. "It seems I have struck a cord in you." Could his face have given him away?

Hantili stood holding his sword. He walked backwards out of the pool and reached slowly for his furs. He wrapped them back across his body without ever taking his eyes off his enemy. The creature remained seated as he dressed. Without a weapon it would be unlikely this animal could beat him. "Yes, there is no mistaking whom you are speaking of. She will be the next Queen, Tawannanna. What is the nature of your query? Do you have some relationship with her?"

"Ah, I came to see the girl who has a friend smitten. The Queen you say. I had heard previously that the djinn's Princess was lovely, but it seems none of the rumors did her justice.” He kept his eyes on Han as he slowly rose to his feet. “I did not come here to fight. Relax your sword. I shall take my leave of you. Enjoy the morning." He bowed low on his legs before disappearing into the forest. Perhaps Han would journey behind the group. Their Princess was attracting the attention of many people. Something big was coming and he now believed he would see it if he followed her.

Thanks for reading and I hope you continue to find my blog amusing!

Retail's End?

     I came across an article on LinkedIn this morning that posed the question are we nearing the death of desktop based retail? I thought to myself how are we nearing the end of desktop based retail? In my world we are just at the cusp of the consumer online experience. Perhaps I am bias. After having spent 10 years in a retail store with the monumental expectation of selling 1,000 dollars or more a day I can confidently say brick and mortar stores are becoming obsolete.

     Just last night I was having a conversation with a manager from another store. I asked how it was going and she replied not good, I am extremely stressed tonight. We had three customers walk in. I asked her, for the night? No. For the entire day.

     Forbes posted an article last year confirming my notion that people are not buying things when they walk into establishments. I have to admit I was worried I would not have a job if companies caught on, but while Forbes did suggest that people were not buying as much from the physical locations they confirmed that the brick and mortar stores still had a purpose. Hence I would still have a job.

      People who go into retail stores are looking for the experience of shopping. They want to touch and feel things even if they go home and then purchase them online. Looking back, I can understand that. I am guilty of it myself. How many times have I gone out to best buy to look at phones or computers, to interact with the product, only to go home and compare prices online and then have it shipped to me? Well I still only do this for major purchases. It seems people chose to do this for a lot of the smaller things today.

     So back to the article that first got my attention. Clicking on the link it seems they are talking about the death of the desktop based retail in India, because studies show people are moving to mobile only ordering systems. I, personally, can't imagine ordering everything on my phone, even though I have a fablat. I feel that the screen is still to tiny for me to make a proper assessment of images on the screen. The author did note that he believes this trendis specific only to India. Thank goodness for that. I need my big screen websites!

     With the downfall of physical stores I know that I will need to rely on web-based ordering in the near future. The idea that all ordering will be done through apps on a mobile only base is frightening. Everything is moving to apps. (I know I sound ancient I'm not even 30). I just find apps to be a real pain in the... you know. I hate searching for them on my phone. I must flip through the pages at least 20 times before spotting the app I'm searching for. I tried to combine them into categories, but that doesn't help much. 

     I know that it would take a lot of the stress off of retail associates to move to Forbes vision of stores where no retail item is expected to be sold. However, I am conflicted as one of the last members of a generation that remembers a time before phones and apps were a part of everyday life. I like buying at the brick and mortar establishments. I idealize the concept of human interaction. I love walking into say, autozone and knowing that the workers there have a knowledge and expertise I cannot get from a computer screen (minus youtube videos), This goes for every retail resource. Those workers work hard to deliver quality service and information to the consumer. 

     Then the thought of app only ordering. How would I ever shop again? It's an ever changing world, but does it have to evolve so quickly? Why do we keep moving away from interactions with others? We are a social creature right? Depression has become more prevalent in recent years and I can't help but wonder if it's because we are defying our nature with our reliance of hiding behind a computer screen. But that's just one persons opinion. The world, despite my objections, will keep on turning. I will wait for the day to come when it finally stops.

Donald Trump Vs Starbucks?

      Donald Trump, one of the GOP candidates for the Republican nomination, has weighed in on the Starbucks red cup crisis and it really grinds my gears. You would think that a GOP candidate would have better things to do with his time then comment on something as silly as a red cup. “If I get elected we'll all be saying Merry Christmas again, I can tell you that much.” “No more Christmas at Starbucks.” At least he's an honest candidate, albeit a bigoted and short sighted one.

     What was the original complaint? A video that went viral the day before. The complaint, “Starbucks removed Christmas from their cups because they hate Jesus.” ... Thinking about the designs of Starbucks' past I remember them being cluttered with snowflakes, ornaments, maybe trees, and that's a big maybe. General holiday/winter themes decorated the cups like garland. Let me make that clear. They erased snowflakes not a giant picture of the Messiah off their cups.

     So why has this become such a big deal? If you ask my father it's because Christmas is American. He's partially correct. Many of the traditions we associate with the Holiday started in America, but it wasn't always a prominent American holiday. In fact, when the Puritans came to this country, they banned Christmas. “The concept of holy days implies some days are not holy.”  It did not become a national holiday until 1870 long after the days of our fore fathers.

     Where to begin with the list of people who made Christmas the grand celebration it is today? Let's start with Washington Irving. In response to political and socio-economic turmoil that plagued the US in the early 19^th century, he wrote a work of fiction depicting Christmas as the joyous, warm hearted holiday we know today. Back in Europe there was the old carnival that took place each year where the wealthy would switch roles with the poor for a day back in Europe. They would have to serve their servants, lick their boots, it was a day of heathenism. This day was designed to keep the masses from revolting.
     Instead of keeping that tradition in America, Irving created the myth of a holiday that brought people together across all boundaries not by switching ranks, but by celebrating “ancient traditions.” These traditions brought together the rich and the poor. Christmas was a magical time where good will existed towards your fellow man. Peace, humility, and kindness prevailed. Christmas existed to quell the wave of mass discontent of poor working conditions and large social and fiscal gaps in America. Many believe that Irving actually created Christmas as we know it today with his piece.

     The second part of Christmas, the myth of Santa Clause. Well, I should say Sinterklass. We all know he is a depiction of St. Nick, the artistry behind his works looks a lot like the green man surrounded in wreaths and garlands though. Doesn't it? People would always take myths or iconic images and transform them to serve a purpose. In this case the familiar iconography helped people to feel comfortable putting a face that they recognized to the man who came into their homes once a year. Scientists believe that you remember every face you see, even those you only glance at in passing, so all those random faces you see in your dream you have glanced at them once before.
      Santa Claus himself was not brought to us by any of our fore fathers. He was given to us by the Dutch. The Dutch in America celebrated St. Nicholas' day each year. They would wait for gifts in stockings or shoes. America ran with the idea of St. Nicholas. Clement Clark Moore (1823) The Night Before Christmas, Santa Claus drawn by Thomas Nash (1862), and Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus by Francis Church to name a few. Christians would soon adopt these traditions to Christmas day on December 25^th, or as it was before that, the solstice.

     Everything we know about Christmas traditions today started in the 19^th century. They are new traditions and none, (minus moving all the other traditions to December 25^th) had anything to do with Jesus. They were just a way to calm the social unrest in early America. Alright, then let's bring it home.

      Starbucks released a statement about it's cups. Starbucks, “wanted to usher in the holidays with a purity of design that welcomes all our stories.” “Embracing the simplicity and the quietness of it.” Knowing the history of our current traditions I couldn't agree more with their vision. I find peace in the plain red cups uncluttered with winter paraphernalia. I believe there is a quiet sanctuary as I stare at my pure red cup that encompasses the the desire to bring people together from all walks of life. It, like Christmas, breaks the barriers of religion, class, and economic disparities if only for an hour. It truly embraces the reasons behind the tradition. So I completely support their decision to have pure red cups.

     Also as a last side note. Howard Schulz is Jewish… perhaps instead of throwing him to the lions for removing snow flakes, which clearly means he hates Jesus, you should thank him for the social correctness of including Christmas Blend and celebrating traditions that are not his own with all of us. Just a thought.

The New American Dream

     Like many millennials who have recently (or not so recently) graduated from a university with a bachelors and are seeking a first “real” job formatting resumes and cover letters have become an area of personal contempt. I am becoming increasingly frustrated at the lack of response from corporations. No matter how proficient my cover letters appear or how I revitalize my CV I never seem able to get a first interview.

     So I have to ask, not only what I may be doing wrong, but how did scanning a one page paper become adequate to determine someone's value to a corporation over the next 20 years of their life? Also, are cover letters necessary and how do I prove my value through these limited means?

     So I went where you would imagine any millennial would go to seek answers to life's questions: The internet. It offered me a variety of options and I in turn attempted all of them. Each option yielded unsuccessful results.

     I re-examined my resume first. Many advise keeping your resume short, sweet and to the point. My resume when I first left college was approximately two pages long. I had gone with an antiquated model of resume building placing a headline, mission statement, education, experience, skills, and references in that order. I have come to realize how unprofessional my first resume looked. I was tried to to appear more experienced by over expanding about my few part time jobs. Like Shakespeare I have come to realize brevity is the soul of resume writing. I try to use more proficient words to help cut down on the length I am writing.

     Also, I no longer include every job I have ever had. In the last two years I have been with two companies, both in retail. The only other jobs I had were temp jobs through college. Unless it contains a specific, qualifying experience that would be applicable for the job I am applying for it seems unnecessary to list them all. List of resume updates accomplished. My next task cover letter writing.

     I have been given many opinions on the best ways to write a cover letter. Write it in your own voice was the first recommendation I was given. Well, my own voice speaks at an eighth grade level. This is because an eighth grade level of verbal and written communication is the standard that you can assume the majority of the public can comprehend. Teachers also deliver notes home with this concept in mind. Cover letters however, should be more ostentatious in nature, or so I am told. My fiance (who found a good “real” job in only four months of searching) would sit and laugh while writing his cover letters. He would work with the built in thesaurus and after a while stopped writing cover letters altogether. How did this man get ahead of me?

     So my question becomes, what now? I am still struggling just as many millennials are. Its not a lack of desire for a well paying job that leads me to work retail. It is not laziness, peter pan syndrome, or a even a lack of opportunities, but something still isn't connecting. Not just for me, but for many in my generation. Can anyone tell me where we are going wrong? What part of the application process are we getting incorrect?

Is it the economy? Although economists say that unemployment is at it's lowest there are other studies that say America has the highest rate of low paying jobs across the globe. As Bernie Sanders pointed out the American public is paying for the healthcare of the Walton family. Ultimately, I believe it is a combination of factors that created this perfect storm; A lack of real world preparation, a recovering economy that forces older workers to work longer, and a bias against our generation as lazy and unmotivated workers. I have read many articles complaining about recent graduates and would like to set the record straight.

     Yes, I would like to have a job out of college that pay 40,000 dollars a year. I would like to leave my parents home, start a family, and live the American dream before my late 40's. I do wish to move into a more prestigious position not because I have a delusion of grandeur from being raised in the “everyone's a winner” America, but because it's what I need to earn a living wage. Many prestigious jobs are offered 40,000 dollars a year compensation, which is the minimum needed to live near my family. The family I will need to assist me when I have children and will have to continue being a working mom. There are some passionate youths out there being missed by recruiters and algorithms alike. I will keep hoping and improving. Maybe by my thirty-th I will have a “real” job.

Today's Topic: Poisons

     I find myself using research of the past for a variety of different things. I like natural medicines and learning about my genealogy. Today I am working on a book that I began a while ago. I am approximately 12000 words in or 22 pages. It's a book about the origins of man. I'll give a brief clip at the end if anyone is interested. In any case I have chosen in a very early time period (2500 BCE) to kill someone by means of poison.
     After decided this character's fate I realized I have no idea what sort of poison they'd have used back in the day. Would it leave any signs? What are the symptoms? How fast acting is it? And so my quests for ancient poisons begins!
     Where does any search start now a days? Wikipedia. Though some of the things written on the website are not credible there is actually a vast amount of useful knowledge collected on wikipedia that it could take days to search for otherwise. This search led to me someone that would have been close (or as close as I may have been able to find) to the time period and location of the book. Pliny the Elder.
       Pliny the Elder was recognized as one of the hardest workers in his time. He spent nearly every minute of his waking life working and collecting information on all known natural phenomenon from geography to plants to diseases. It's said he recorded over 7000 poisons and antidotes. At a time when there was no printers or computers that is an extremely impressive feat. Looking through his books though I'm afraid they were both dry and hard to scan. I believe that I shall go back and give them a good look when I am less pressed for time. Any one who is interested can find them all here.
      As I said earlier though I am pressed for time due to the fact that I am looking to finish part of the story for an event. Scanning through his complete work was not an option. So my next step pinterest. It seems to be a magical website that delivers a slew of information. Type in Ancient Poison and one of the first hits is hemlock water. It is said that Socrates died by drinking a hemlock potion, but what was in that potion? Could hemlock be mixed with wine as I am poisoning the character through wine? A could search for the terms "Can hemlock poison wine" revealed nothing except that hemlock apparently smells like wine, but swing the words around "wine poison hemlock." and I found this website which references the author up above about the death of Socrates. In the article she tells me that Socrates died from a mixture of hemlock juice, laudanum, and wine likely killed Socrates. This I think is the perfect poison combination for my book!
     If you want another fun list of ancient poisons listverse has a pretty fun one.

And as promised....

      Once the young one was out of sight the Pharaoh began to tell his wife of his misgivings. "I did not want to take another wife."

      "I know, but it is expected of you. She will not be a queen. I hope it is enough. Our daughter can never be your heir. You must have many more children. We have not been blessed since she was born. I have no son yet to offer you." The child's mother was a beautiful, Babylonian woman. Adam thought she must have been born a princess. She had an air of grace and understanding that only royalty held. When she walked through the palace halls it was as if she was gliding over the stones. Yet as glamorous as she appeared she wore little to denote her station. It appeared that her hand maidens had to force her each day to put on appropriate make up and attire. She was lovely inside and out..

      Adam watched as Mentuhotep gently cupped her cheek with his hand. "But how can I ever be with another when my heart and body aches for you." He leaned in close to her. It looked as though his body surrounded her. Adam could see their aura glowed as one. The Pharaoh was a man who was truly in love. Adam chose to leave them for the moment. He was not looking to invade their privacy. Plus whatever God was planning would not happen until the Pharaoh chose to take Sarai as his wife, in the biblical sense.

      Instead Adam wafted over to the little princess' room. There was a large golden table that had water and breakfast set across it. "What a beautiful room." Adam heard a familiar voice next to him. His eyes swept towards the sound. Sarai entering the princess' chamber. Right now, she could not see Adam. No one could.

      "Thank you." Her soft little, voice was happy.

      "Sarai." The Queen walked in. "I am so happy you are going to be with us. Can I offer you some wine?"

      "Please allow me to get the wine for you." It was not like Sarai to be eager to serve. Something was not right. Adam had been forced to watch them since they came to live in Egypt. Sarai would have done anything to be waited on… Anything. "Your kindness towards me has humbled me. I would not feel right having you serve me." The Queen smiled openly.

      "I hope we can be good friends. I cannot wait until you have your first child. I will be here to help every step of the way if you need. And I'm sure Naterifari would love to spend time with you as well."

       Sarai brought over two glasses of wine and one glass of water. "I'm sure I will be very fond of her." All three raised their glasses.

      Sarai took a very gentle sip as did the princess. The Queen took a larger one. Perhaps under the stress of the situation the wine would calm her nerves.

      "Where did you come from?" The princess smiled at Sarai.

      "I come from Ur of the Chaldean's." Sarai pretended to take another sip as the Queen moved to get another glass. Adam watched Sarai's eyes close. Something was very wrong. He turned toward the queen who swooned and fell to the ground. Sarai soon followed. Adam rushed to the queen's side. This had to be Sarai's doing. Kneeling down he looked at her. Fast acting poison? The Princess was screaming behind Adam. He leaned to the queen's mouth to listen for breath. There was nothing. He could no longer hear her heart beat. She was gone.

      He stood up slowly and walked over to Sarai. She had passed out, but her heart was still beating. She must have made sure to drink only enough to knock her out. He should kill her. She's defenseless now. The crying Princess was shaking the queen desperate for her to wake up. The world slowed down around him and time itself ceased to exist. He walked over to the bottle of wine and took it. He could see roots through the container... many roots. Those roots belonged to a deadly plant. With a high enough dosage can kill in the span of a conversation. He turned back to the others.

      The King was there holding his daughters as the physician's tried to revive the women. There was nothing that could be done for the Queen now and Adam knew he could not stay. Eve would be here soon to collect her soul. If he saw Eve, something terrible would happen to her. She would be permanently taken from this world. At least he could take the wine to protect the others. As he fled he couldn't help but think about the irony of the situation. The people being hurt most by the righteous god were the moral "heathens." God backed Sarai who would poison a kind, charming mother. He should have killed her.

      Adam knew he had lost his chance. He could feel his wife's presence behind him. She was there and now he could no longer turn back.

Chicken New Orleans

    Everyone who knows me knows that food is one of my favorite topics. More specifically healthy foods and food allergies, because my as my friends have told me, I can't eat anything and they will draw me a map to the nearest bridge. They are very supportive. There is a terrible disconnect in this day and age between what people think they are eating and what they are actually eating.
   My own father didn't realize that Aunt Jemima's pancake mix contained milk. They're literally labelled, "Buttermilk" pancakes. Did he think that was for show? He explained to me no you just add water. Again, another sigh. The water re-activates the evaporated milk to give you buttermilk or at the very least milk pancakes. It does other things too of course, but nothing else that affects any of the big 8.
     I can go on and on about the subject of allergies and will do so in another post. This post is going to be short since it's past midnight and I'm quite tired from the long hours I've been putting in at work this week. I decided to try my hand at one of my mother's favorite dishes. Chicken Fricassee. I promptly went to work measuring ingredients only to discover I'd forgotten to get half of them.        
    Quickly I turned my vision to another path. What better than chicken and gravy? My chicken thighs were cooking, she told me later I had not cooked them right anyway, I cooked them first to make sure they were cooked through. I was supposed to cook them in the broth till they fell apart. Oh well, I added the chicken broth once I was sure my thighs were cooked through. *Note to self, look for thighs without bones.*

    I quickly added 1/4 cup of butter, something around 2 1/3 broth, 1/3 cup of gluten free flour, spinach, onions, 1/3 cup of heavy cream, and a splash of white wine. I also threw in Italian Spice (just whatever was in the bottle oregano, thyme, ect), Cayenne, Pepper, tons of Garlic, and Adobo. What I came up with was a dish less like my mother used to eat, and more like a dish I loved as a child. It was called Chicken New Orleans and the Outback Steakhouse stopped making it years ago. So, success? It was a good dinner, and next time I'll make sure I have everything to make a real dish from the past.

Man with No Country

     I feel inspired when I look through my family tree. I have only managed to trace back one block of relatives past great-great grandparents, however, looking through that list elates me and keeps me going on my journey. However, I have come to face a very personal problem along the way. The more I learn about the places my ancestors came from the more I feel like a man without a country.
     Growing up in the US is both a blessing and a curse. It is truly the great equalizer. Three generations after coming here and it no longer matters if your family were peasants or noblemen... French or English. My family in recent times consists of my mother's parents (Irish, Scottish, and French) and my father's parents (Russian, Polish, and Ukrainian) which eventually led to me. Looking at the countries I am sure you notice they are all very separate cultures. So for some the search for their ancestry helps them to pin down a cultural heritage, for me it has just expanded the already large tree of known places my family has come from.
     Looking through that one added section of family tree I can add, England, Spain, Egypt, different parts of the Middle East, Switzerland, Belgium, Norwegian, and the list continues to grow.I think it's all very cool to see the different places people merged from to make me, but it also makes me feel less and less connected to any culture. My family comes from a merging of people across the globe which is probably why we don't do anything that displays a heritage. We're American in the broadest sense of the word, I think being part of the new American Culture (which I find to be hysterical, because America itself doesn't have much of a "Culture"...) means distancing yourself from everything your family once knew or did in order to fit in. I realize they could not keep the exact same lifestyle an ocean away, but when America began to become a melting pot and people from all different nations began to arrive two things happened.

      At first people lived only with people from their respective countries. We had a section for Italians, Russians, Irish men, etc. Slowly but surely things began to change. I wasn't alive for this, so I'm not sure when the change took place, but I can guess it was the second or third generation that did it. If you'd have asked my great-great grandfather he'd tell you. He told my mother that ancestry did not matter when his family came to this country. Everyone interbred with everyone. I'm not quoting, because I don't remember his exact words, but they were to that effect. So from the beginning of time you had folks from many different backgrounds combining into one family unit out of love? Necessity? Survival? That meant being respectful of the others backgrounds or sometimes, as in my parents case, just ignoring that you are both from different backgrounds and celebrate neither heritage.
     Any one else experiencing this same phenomenon? I know they elude to it in the ancestry.com commercial. Though the man in the commercial found he was mostly Irish and was happier with those traditions. I've found I'm just to much of everything and not enough of one thing. This feeling sometimes leads to feelings of being alone. I want a community to be a part of and in America that doesn't happen. I feel like all I might have is a cultural community, because I left the church due to a personal disagreement on their stance pertaining to certain subjects. So I lost that community. No one talks to neighbors anymore. I feel like my world has become smaller as people began to hide behind smart phones and we have more long distance relationships. A cultural community may have been all I had and I don't even have that in America? So what am I left with? Who is there to back me? Does anyone else have these feelings?

Natural Medicine

    Six days without posting. Lately I've been bogged down by life events... birthday parties, weddings, other social events... not to say that's a bad thing, however, I really appreciate having time to myself on my days off. There's something very frustrating and relaxing about sitting down at my computer to blog or research. Although I love my soon to be in-laws and my fiance's friends I am very happy to have a few hours to sit back and talk about the past.
    Ahhh, so refreshing. Now genealogy is wonderful, however, it is not our only link to the past. There is a lot more we can learn other than just the names of our kin. We began discussing different ways of connecting to your past in my last blog post about cars. I feel a connection to those who came before me when I do things that they might have done. Another topic that I feel very strongly about is holistic medicine.
    I am going to throw out a disclaimer right now. I am not a doctor, I do not pretend to be a doctor, holistic medicine may or may not help the conditions we believe it to assist and cannot be a substitute for real diagnosis and medication. Phew, long disclaimer. However, I think that there must be something to the natural cures that have come down through out the ages. If it didn't work we would have stopped relying on it. Again that's not to say you should rely on the an old wives tale to cure cancer, but as long as the natural cure does not interact with the medicinal treatment, well it can't hurt to have a little extra.
    I haven't been sick in years so I've had little need to test these cures. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I do, however, have an arsenal ready if the need ever arises. Garlic is my first key. My house smell of garlic. It's in every crevice. Garlic is a great preventative, but when necessary it can also be a powerful antibiotic. In this study that came from India it was concluded that garlic has potential to fight against bacterial infections. It is effective even against some antibiotic resistant strains. With antibiotic resistant strains of bacteria on the rise further research is being given to the older medicinal options. The study does make a note that it is only a preliminary collection of data and that more research needs to be given on the side effects and uses in a larger study.
    Another problem that has come to the attention of doctors is how frequently people of all ages pop pain killers. Many of us out there even younger people (I am under 30 and rely on it at least once a month) rely on those pain killers in order to get through the day. Many people are starting to look back at old herbs and pain relievers. There do not appear to be any clinical studies on this, however there are many people who are willing to share their experience if you are willing to try an unconventional method for pain relief. (Always speak with your doctor to make sure the things you eat will not interact with any medications and of course seek medical attention for any severe pain. I cannot stress enough the importance of not self treating major illnesses.)

    Cinnamon has had a small clinical study done over seas. It has been shown to significantly decrease the severity and duration of pain, though it is not as effective as ibuprofen. For severe medical problems I may find myself returning to nsaids, however, when I have a small arthritis flare a little cinnamon in my coffee does wonders to alleviate the pain.
 

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    The last honorable mention on my list is Honey. The medical community is still out on that one. There's no doubt that it makes you feel better and coats the throat. It has been shown to help inhibit the growth of H. Pylori bacteria growth which is a cause of stomach ulcers. It can also be applied to burns and it has been found to help keep bacteria growth out of wounds. Then there are others who discuss the fact that these are small studies and that it is too soon to come to a reasonable conclusion. I believe honey was the only thing that helped to heal a bad throat infection two years ago. I had no voice for over a month with the classic white spots as the back of my throat. I tested negative for strep and my doctor did not give me any answer as to what was going on. It last another two weeks till I started a treatment of raw honey. My throat finally got better and I have not had white patches since.
    We are lucky to live in the future. We have available to us medical technology that people could scarcely have dreamed of a century ago. We now have a problem though where we are overly dependent on new medications. Take what you read with a grain of salt. I won't be offended if these three big holistic healers don't enter your medicine cabinet, but don't they all sound good? I think even without using them for their healing properties I could still use some more honey, cinnamon, and garlic in my life!

Cars!

     Remember there's more to connecting with your past than just knowing who your ancestors are. When I learn about ancestors in the distant past the information I gather is usually no more than a location, birth date, family size, names of other members and boarders, and potentially a profession. That seems like quite a bit of information, except it doesn't really tell you who they are. What did they enjoy? So I sometimes find myself building their lives for them in my own mind. Perhaps my own interests came from them? George Campbell was a laborer, but what knid of laborer? Did he build beautiful landscapes? Ursule Boucher, did she make her family quilts?
     There is one hobby I have that I know my grandfathers shared. Lots of people have taken up learning more about this particular creation in the last 100 years. CARS!

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     I love cars. I love my car. I am a practical person. I would never fall in love with a luxury Shelby, but a Model T would have been up my alley. I know my grandfather's both had cars they enjoyed working on. Cars today are much more complicated than the days of the Model T. I think the satisfaction they got from fixing and pumping up their rides are the same as the satisfaction I get. Most of what I do is ordinary maintenance, but it still feels like I'm making my car healthier each time. Of course after six years with my car it's time for some upgrades. It feels good giving that vehicle a makeover... a new life. Of course I wish to do all the work myself.

     Did my love of doing things myself come from my ancestors? My grandparents, in fact most people's grandparents were a highly independent group of people. The greatest generation was great for more than just their efforts in World War II. The next generation had less general know how than the previous generation. My generation, AKA Generation X, has even less general fix it knowledge. This doesn't go for all people in my generation, but the majority of the people I interact with could not do the every day fixes people did three generations back. 

     We are frighteningly disconnected from the things around us. Do you need to know how to jack up your car and change a flat? In the age of cell phones help is just a call away. Need to shingle your roof? Again just another phone call. Perhaps those things aren't necessary for the survival of the species, but there is one thing we are horribly disconnected from that can be life threatening. Food, however, that's a post for another day. 

      To wrap it up, remember, there is more to connecting with your past than knowing your genetics or the names of your ancestors. You and your ancestors may be more alike than you know. Stop and think about the things you enjoy and the things they may have enjoyed after all some things never change.

Fear of Time?

     Connecting to your past can leave you feeling empowered and inspired. Maybe you find you are descended from a great war hero or a queen of Franks. Perhaps you are the great-great-great-great-great.... 26 "great"s later grandchild of a princess of Persia or maybe even the descendant of Genghis Khan himself. The people who came before us on the journey help to shaped who we believe we are, but don't forget to live in the present.
     Sometimes when I am deeply involved in genealogy research I start getting panic attacks. I begin to think about my parents and their grandparents and my brain begins to go back through the family tree. At this point an image appears. I usually envision my mother and my father as children. I see their grandparents in my mind's eye. As the old poem goes, "Stop ye traveler as you pass by. As you are now so once was I. As I am now soon you must be. Prepare yourself to follow me."
     I imagine the pain of seeing the older generations die around you. True I have lost many friends and all of my grandparents, but there's something different about my parents current age. Their parents are gone almost ten years now and they are the generation slowly moving towards death. I am not sure if it's death I'm afraid of or the concept of slowly creeping towards that eventual end. I think I've always been frightened, since I was very young, of the concept of not having enough time.
     My fear has gotten worse as my own life has gotten better. For years I did not fear death. I believed in reincarnation. If I lost this life I would simply move on to the next one. I still believe that, but for the first time in this life I am eager to hang on to my current moment in time. I think that inspires my panic. I know that I am a good forty to fifty years from that eventual end, but time seems to creep up on me quickly and I worry about not having enough time to soak in all the experiences of life. I wonder, am I the only one who feels this way? Or are there others who have the flash forwards as they dive deeper into the past? Only time can help me to face my fear, for it is time itself that is my enemy.

First Step into the Uknown

      The second trick to this free ancestry search is finding other people currently searching for the same family members. Although there may be few who are searching for your grandparents (my mother was an only child) and your great-grandparents, by the time you go to search for great-great grandparents there have been three generations of people who may be searching for the same relatives you are. The further back your search takes you the more likely it is that others have already found and recorded the information you seek.

     Finding others became a necessity when searching for my mother's side of the family. I knew my grandfather's name. I knew he shared a name with his father. I located their family census record in the upstate New York town where my grandfather was born. That census record told me my great-grandfather's birthplace was in Ottawa, Quebec, Canada in 1889. I now had my search terms. Joseph T. Morrissette b. 1887-1892 Ottawa, Quebec, Canada. What I discovered was an earlier census from when my great-grandfather was a child in that upstate New York town. It showed his mother Mary J. Morrissette and his father Alexander Morrissette. It told me they immigrated in 1892 and that they were married in 1884. That meant there might be a marriage record in that area of Canada. It also gave me their approximate birth years.
     So I searched. Ottawa, Quebec, Canada for Alexander Morrissette birth year 1855-1860. I always give a range of years because you never know who wrote down what as was discussed in this post. Unfortunately, I did not find any Canadian records. That was where my search on Familysearch.org ended. My next step? Google. Really is there anything Google can't fix? 
     I input all I knew of them. Since google does pull all things that have even one word in common I found myself scanning through dozens of pages of search results. I looked at the years. 1897, nope that wasn't him. Married 1867, no another dead end. Finally I had a bite on the L'Heureux family tree. Alexandre Morrissette and Marie Baulne. They had the same birth years/marriage year and were in the same location. Though the names are slightly different I can see how the recorder when writing the US census could mistake Marie Baulne and transform it to Mary Baune.

     I believe these are my great-great grandparents because all of my search terms added up. Do I wish I had someone who could sit and verify that yes this is the right track? Absolutely. Ultimately though even the pro's are doing just what I am doing. Matching up search terms as close as possible to help others find the path that made them.

First Tip

      The first thing that must be remembered when going through data bases of records is to keep an open mind about what you are searching for. I shall use records from 1916, 1920, 1930, and 1940 to give an example. When the census records, or any records for that matter, were recorded it was usually done by an official of the government. Those government official did their best with their current education level and the education level of those whose abodes they were visiting to collect information. For those who did not know how the census records were collected an officiant of the government would be elected to different sections of towns/cities. Those officials would visit each abode in the area gaining as much information about the familial unit and any people outside the family who resided in that home at that time. If the family was not home during the hours that the census collector came around it was required that they collect as much data as was practical from the nearest neighbors about the inhabitants of said address. A very good overview of early census collection methods can be found here.

     This means of collecting information meant that in order to translate the collection data the people giving the data would need to be reliable and intelligible with good handwriting. It was preferable that the informants were literate in the English language as well (at least for American Census records). If you are like me, however, and have relatives from countries whose native language requires a whole different alphabet make sure that you are flexible in your search options, or you may miss something important.

     My favorite database to tread is Familysearch.org. They give me free access to census records that I would have to pay for on Ancestry (though I do not know if ancestry would be more detailed). I have completed a large portion of my family tree tracing back my lineage with an average year and names. So I digress.

1916: Saroka marries Gregorkiewicz

1920: Horyhorkowicz

1930: Rihorkewicz

1940: Rehorkewig

     Each of these last names belonged to the same two people. However, the 1930 and 1940 census told me my great-grandparents wedding year. I had known the location of the area they lived and that they had met once they had immigrated to America. I found the 1920's census by chance thanks to that website I listed earlier. It will throw at me all names it thinks are of a similar sound and I happen to get a hit. I then took their wedding year and knowledge of what could have been different ways to spell their last name and was able to track down their marriage record. 09 Jan 1916.

     To this day no one has a proper spelling of that last name. It definitely makes it harder tracking people down, but with the aid of first names, general living areas, and knowledge of a few dates I was able to deduce that all of those records told me another piece of the puzzle that helped to create me.

The Beginning of the Journey

      I have determined that as a blogger I have set an unrealistic precedent for myself. I believed a blog should be updated everyday, however, this is only possible when one can set aside the other parts of reality. (AKA Professional Bloggers). I would hope to someday become a person whose life experience aids and penetrates people across the globe in the way other bloggers have influenced my life and thoughts.

     I have many interests. I have so many different interests that I explore at all different times that it can be hard for me to pin down a topic to blog about. Do I talk about my experiences as a barista? No, most of them are too positive. Plus, I would not desire to place my company name out there in the in.

     I love food. I would love to blog about food. However, limited space/equipment in my current living situation puts me at a disadvantage for that. But there is one thing that I have always been interested in. Something that requires a computer and the ability to travel…. Genealogy.

     This is about my personal journey of discovering my family history for FREE. I will do my best to update once a week about some of the great resources or tips I come up with along the search for who they were. Those people who sometimes all I know is their name. What lives did they lead and what can we discover about those who came before us?

     Thank you all in advance for reading about my journey.